Hi again everyone
You can also view today’s poetrey session on my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/libby.hathorn/videos/10222894127891486/
Here’s your scaffolding to create your very own poetry using the magic of metaphors. Enjoy!
More Perfect Poetry: Part 2
A Metaphorical Walk
The most powerful tool that poets use is metaphor. It’s a long word but don’t be afraid of it.
It means making a comparison. It’s when a poets describes something by comparing it to something else. When we use the word ‘like’ the sky is like a great blue eye we call it a simile.
But today we’re going to drop the word like and just compare something the sky to something else an eye.
The sky is a great blue eye
The dawn is a flaming robe
The tree is a gnarled hand
Create your own metaphors
A computer is a box, an eye, a window
The traffic lights blinking eyes,
A hand a greedy claw or a kind toucher
Come on a poetry wander through a glorious forest
There’s a long path twisting through the forest. Look at an image of a forest path an the close your eyes and imagine it. The shape, the way it winds downwards…
What does it look like?
I’m giving you a wallet, no sorry not money but a wallet full of riches that can be used for free. It’s a WORD wallet. Add to your word wallet everyday to be powerful and smart.
Let’s start now with your word wallet.
What could you compare the path i to-
Word wallet: a snake, a ribbon, rope, a river a cord?
And think about what it does.
Word Wallet: slithers, slide, coils winds, slinks, glides
Here’s your first metaphor
The path is a __________________________________________
That_________________________________________________
To finish it you need to describe what the path is doing
The path is a gliding snake
The coils and slivers down
Note that I described the snake as gliding but I could add other words when I think about what snakes look like
patterned, spotted, mottled, flecked, black, brown.
The path is a brown mottled snake
The coils and slivers down
Always try to add a colour word so that your reader can more easily see it.
As you walk down your gravelly forest path you hear something. Bubbling water! And you come across a fast-flowing creek.
Now for our next metaphor. Look at the creek image.
Now close your eyes and imagine the creek. What is it’s shape, its sound, its pace, its colour
Word wallet:a channel, a trench, a groove , path, way, trail, track, a gutter,
frothy, bubbling, fizzy, foamy, greeny, foaming,
The creek is_________________________________________
That__________________________________________________
The creek is a green foamy trail
That bubbles and sings to me
Oh and the sound gets louder as we walk beside the creek and then it roars. You are beside a gorgeous and forceful water all that is rushing and spuming.
Here I just have to read you a little bit of the best poem I know on waterfalls. And something we’ll look at later called internal rhyme or assonance.
Dividing and gliding and sliding,
And falling and brawling and sprawling
And driving and riving and striving
And sprinkling and twinkling and wrinkling
- From The Cataract at Lodore by Robert Southey.
What a metaphor we can have for the waterfall!
Word wallet: a sheet, a curtain, drape, a force, a power,
And what it does as it spumes and fumes and bubble over the top to crashes down
- bellows, roars, booms reverberates, bawls, resounds
The waterfall is a wide silvery sheet
That crashes and smashes and roars
The waterfall is ___________________________________
That_____________________________________________
The waterfall could scare little kids with its noise, despite loving to gaze at it, so I’m going to add a line about that.
It fills me with fear and delight!
Let’s continue on our walk. We leave the roaring water and walk along the path because we see a bright light at the end of the track, and we burst out of that forest onto a glorious lonely beach. Look at the expanse of sand, the rocks, the waves…
The beach is _____________________________________
______________________________________________
A favourite Australian poet said the beach is a slice of melon
A quarter of golden fruit
A half-moon curve (William Hart Smith)
Let’s look at the image of the beach and then close our eyes and imagine that shape of the yellow, yellow sand like a shape, extending right and left
Word wallet: Span, spread, a slice of __?
curls , swirls, hugs, embraces enfolds,
The beach is a golden boomerang
That hugs the water’s edge
The beach is______________________________________
That____________________________________________
Let’s rest on this warm beach as we watch the sun going down
Word wallet: orb, globe, sphere, ball circle
alazing, flaring burning glowing, ablaze,, rosy, pink, blushing,
The sun is a scarlet, fiery orb
That sets the spuming waves ablaze.
The sun is ____________________________________
That _________________________________________
So now I have my perfect poem and look forward to yours…
My Metaphorical Walk by Libby Hathorn
The path is a brown mottled snake
The coils and slivers down,
The creek is a green foamy trail
That bubbles and sings to me,
The waterfall is a wide silvery sheet
That crashes and smashes and roars,
The beach is a golden boomerang
That hugs the water’s edge,
The sun is a scarlet, fiery orb
That sets the spuming waves ablaze.
Your Own Poem Scaffold
The path is a
That_________________________________
The creek is__________________________
That_________________________________
The waterfall is
That_________________________________
The beach is___________________________
_____________________________________
The sun is ___________________________
That _________________________________
